Its Chrissstttmmasssss…..

Thanks Noddy Holder & your timely reminder every half hour on the wireless! Oh yes its that time of year when we all seem to need 29 hours in a day to be able to get everything done. All trying to buy the perfect present for our loved ones, learn from King Jamie & Queen Delia how to cook the pefect bird (no lads not that kind), make the perfect roasties (part roast then squash down gently with a masher to get maximum surface area to roast on high heat), concoct the best cocktail, wrap half of Amazons warehouse (wrap tip – use the ironing board as a table it’s the right height so no bad backs), get to the gym, and see everyone you know in the space of 3 weekends.  Despite all of that I bloomin love Christmas!!!
It’s going to be a little different this year. I dont have to get on a plane with half of Tescos Christmas selection (one year I actually took a Turkey), I don’t have to watch Dads Army or Christmas Corrie (I probably will though, its a tradition), I can watch the Snowman without Dad laughing at the absurdity of a grown woman crying at the end, i get to spend more time with my friends and get some rest. Well maybe not that last bit. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but at the moment it feels strange.
I’ve kept the traditions of the Clarke family going – large tree, after eights ready for sitting under the table to scoff so no one sees me (I was 4 at the time, not drunk but hey I’ll just keep going on that one), Champagne for brekkie (all holiday days including weekends), tea by the gallon, vast amounts of buffet food just because its allowed & in every shop I dare to go to, and a bloody good time with special people. That’s how Mum and Dad brought me up – to love it. Xmas is the best time of year and that will never change even without them. Xmas was almost perfect as a kid, well they messed up the Santa bit. Or should I say my Grandad did.
Nan & Grandad loved Xmas. They used to stay with us for the holiday. Grandad took pride in cooking the Turkey and would stay up all night to make it perfect for us. Problem with that was he knocked back Santas whiskey (I put out milk & a carrot, Mum persuaded me to go whiskey & mince pies which I argued would not help Santas waist line- even at age 6 I was a bit opinionated) & was subsequently a little merry, but somehow it was ok as Grandad could pass for Santa. Or Captain Birds Eye…..
Dad was mid ‘operation present drop’ into my room, when Grandad yelled up the stairs half cut to my Nan “Joan wheres my clean trousers”. Funnily enough I woke up only to see Dad putting my presents at the end of my bed complete with Paddington Duvet (original not the current scarey one) while Mum shoved my head into the pillow like some bloody kidnap training. Aged 6. I was always a bit suspicious of Santa since then….. Great Whiskey lover though!
I am blessed wnough to be spending Christmas with some very special friends, who have held me up through the last few years & have kept me sane. I’m so humbled by their kindness at such a time of year, & Im thoroughly looking forward to a great Christmas. We all take for granted those around us all year, but for a few days & in the words of Jerry Springer (my Dads hero, except Kylie) “be nice to yourself and each other”.
Right, time to have another glass of fizz, eat a lot of quality street (stop nicking the Purple Ones team), dance to a bit of Wham (Last Christmas of course), snog someone I shouldn’t & spend the next day eating bacon sandwiches and laughing at the exploits of the night- yes Its Christmas alright!!!!!   No driving or standing near a naked flame for me for at least the next fortnight…..
I hope you all have a fabulous time, go and thoroughly enjoy it – lifes a short one, so party on!!
Now, wheres that mistletoe & wine………

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